The Mommy War is a common media vehicle that gets dragged out, dusted off and recycled a lot these days. It pits stay-at-home mothers against working mothers, when most of us know that the real parenting issues are not (or should not be) between mothers at all. But every so often, a writer asks the obvious question in one of these Mommy War articles? That question is 'Where's Daddy?'.
Are fathers torn between working and staying home with their kids? Are they judging one another for how they are managing their career trajectories once they become parents? Not so much. But a real solution to the woes of American mothers is for American fathers to be their true partners. The burdens and joys of raising a child do not have to be given to one parent primarily.
The Mommy War would be silenced if we were all equally sharing parents. Then, the media discussion would have to turn to what really matters - political and business issues such as flexible parental leave, and interesting, rewarding and well-paying reduced-hours jobs for parents.