Equally Shared
                Parenting - Half the Work ... All the Fun


While we are the only equal parenting website run by equal sharing parents that we know of, we aren’t the only ones talking about this lifestyle.  Look below for information about excellent social studies texts, books, and organizations supportive of our cause.  And you'll find even more resources in the back of our book, Equally Shared Parenting: Rewriting the Rules for a New Generation of Parents.


  • Equal Couples: Equalcouples.com.  Fantastic blog devoted to examining power equality within couples of all types - with or without children.
  • Evolution of DadEvolutionofdad.com.  Website of the documentary film celebrating the involved father.  Upbeat, real and filled with the voices of experts (lauded academics and practicing fathers).
  • Father and FamilyLinkFatherfamilylink.gse.upenn.edu.  National Center on Fathers and Families website devoted to information for fathers, with good links to other such organizations.  The site is dated – no one seems to be keeping it current these days – but it does contain a good review of the literature on equal sharing by Terry Arendell from 1997.
  • National Center for FatheringFathers.com.  Updated resource for all things daddy.  No presence on this site for equal sharing, however.
  • Center for a New American Dreamwww.newamericandream.org.  Organization devoted to responsible consumption. Among its mantras is the belief that 'living consciously means getting more of what really matters in life, being aware of what’s going on around you, finding balance, and having a little fun while you’re at it'.  The website is full of excellent resources.
  • Sharon Teitelbaum:  Stcoach.com. Sharon is a work-life and career coach who raised her now-grown children under the equally shared parenting model with her husband.  She coaches working parents throughout the US, helping them create the work-family-self balance that works for their family.
  • Thirdpath InstituteThirdpath.org.  The ThirdPath Institute is an organization dedicated to reform and education to make equally shared parenting (‘Shared Care’ is their term) possible.  ThirdPath offers consultation, a workbook, a free email newsletter, and many other resources to help couples work toward equality.  We love ThirdPath!


  • Against the Grain: Couples, Gender, and the Reframing of Parenting (Gillian Ranson; 2010). Thoughtful sociologic research of 32 couples with non-traditional gender roles (6 are ESP couples) that highlights what it means to 'undo gender' and 'parent' rather than 'mother' or 'father.' For more information, see our review of this book here.
  • An Unconventional Family  (Sandra Lipsitz Bem; 1998).  Fascinating personal story of an ESP family devoted to feminism and gender neutrality.  For more information, see our review of this book here.
  • Baby's Here! Who Does What?  (Duncan Fisher, 2010).  Fantastic, short, graphics-based handbook on equal parenting.  See our review of this book here.
  • Couples, Gender, and Power  (Carmen Knudson-Martin and Anne Rankin Mahoney ed., 2009).  Excellent compilation of sociological research on gender and its effect on power in relationships, with a review of the literature on relationship equality.  See our review of this book here.
  • Family Man: Fatherhood, Housework, and Gender Equity  (Scott Coltrane; 1996).  Sociological discussion of shared parenting from the perspective of the father rather than the mother.
  • Father Courage: What Happens When Men Put Family First  (Suzanne Braun Levine; 2000).  Refreshingly positive description of men who are fully involved in their children’s lives.  Introduces the concepts of the ‘Dreaded Tape’ and the ‘Grinding Gears’ to describe how men and women are different in their approaches to family and work activities.
  • Gender Vertigo: American Families in Transition (Barbara J Risman; 1998).  A feminist look at gender and how it pervades all that we do, followed by an in-depth analysis of 15 equally sharing couples with children.  The kids are interviewed as well as their parents, for an interesting study of how gender equality at home can affect children's views of men and women.   For more information, see our review of this book here.
  • Get to Work: A Manifesto for Women of the World (Linda R. Hirshman; 2006).  Controversial and strongly worded call to all women to create a fulfilling life for themselves rather than fall prey to inequality.  Although Linda writes in a dictatorial and accusing style, her philosophy is centrally about equality between partners.  We disagree with her view that women should only have one child, marry young or much older, and other specifics, but hope that her equality message is heard above the din of her enemies.  
  • Getting to 50/50: How Working Couples Can Have It All by Sharing It All (Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober; 2009).  Inspiring look at equal sharing written primarily from the perspective of the working mother.  This book includes a good look at the data that support two-career families and shared home duties between partners.  For more information, see our review of this book here.
  • Halving It All: How Equally Shared Parenting Works (Francine M. Deutsch; 1999).  The most comprehensive study of equally shared parenting, as gleaned from interviews with parents.  The parents interviewed varied in their degree of equality, and almost none of them seemed to intentionally create an equal sharing lifestyle (they just fell into it).  Nonetheless, the author reviews much of the philosophy and practicality of equal sharing in a way that no other book does.
  • How to Avoid the Mommy Trap (Julie Shields; 2002).  Excellent how-to book for creating equally shared parenting.  This book is written from the perspective of the woman, not the couple, although it does discuss the benefits of equal sharing for men.  It aims to teach women how to marry the right guy, negotiate for equality, and make it happen.  
  • Kidding Ourselves: Breadwinning, Babies, and Bargaining Power (Rhona Mahony; 1995).  Detailed description of why women in our society end up with most of the housework and childraising tasks, and what to do about it.  Click here for a more indepth review of this book.
  • Love Between Equals: How Peer Marriage Really Works (Pepper Schwartz; 1995).  Lovingly crafted ode to equal marriages that examines the benefits and challenges and compares this lifestyle to traditional and 'near-peer' relationships.  While not specifically focusing on couples with children, many examples include such couples and a whole chapter describes equal childraising.  Click here for a more indepth review of this book.
  • Marathon Dad: Setting a Pace that Works for Working Fathers (John Evans; 1998).  Lovely how-to book for men on becoming involved fathers and why this is the best thing they can do to lead happy and meaningful lives.
  • Men Can: The Changing Image and Reality of Fatherhood in America (Donald N.S. Unger; 2010).  Refreshing view of how and why men can break out of the standard gender roles.  Read our review of the book here.
  • Men Can Do It! The Real Reason Dads Don't Do Childcare and What Men and Women Should Do About It (Gideon Burrows; 2013).  Witty, sometimes sarcastic but very passionate directive to British fathers to step up and brush past excuses to a life well led as an ESP dad.  Read our review of the book here.
  • Mommy Guilt: Learn to Worry Less, Focus on What Matters Most, and Raise Happier Kids (Julie Bort, Aviva Pflock and Devra Renner; 2005).  Book written for moms only (unfortunately, but understandably) outlining general philosophies and providing dozens and dozens of tips to enjoy parenting.  Teaches moms not to feel guilty about pursuing their own hobbies, and sifts through all the garbage we tell ourselves to get to the real meaning of parenthood.  Small section on fathers explains how moms should learn to let go and let their husbands take over some of the parenting. 
  • Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself (Amy Richards; 2008).  Call to women (and men) to take responsibility for creating the lives they want, and discussion of some of the personal barriers to equal sharing.  Details of how to achieve equally shared parenting are not provided, but this book is a well-written description of what prevents us from getting there if we elect to go with the cultural status quo.
  • Parenting Partners: How to Encourage Dads to Participate in the Daily Lives of Their Children (Robert Frank and Kathryn E. Livingston; 1999).  How-to book for each stage of your child's life, written by a family therapist and fatherhood/parenting researcher (Frank).
  • Parenting Together: Men and Women Sharing the Care of Their Children (Diane Ehrensaft; 1990).  Older book, but full of interesting discussions about the emotional effects on parents who share equally in raising their children and on the children themselves.  This book is the result of interviews with 40 couples who equally share.   
  • Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety (Judith Warner; 2005).  Much discussed and quoted description of mothers gone wrong – exhaustion-fueled and filled with angst about things that don’t really matter – while fathers escape to work.  Judith interviews primarily upper middle class mothers and reviews the path of feminism from Betty Friedan until today.  Alas, equally shared parenting is not mentioned as a solution to some of the issues raised.  An excellent read, nonetheless.
  • Role-Sharing Marriage (Audrey D. Smith and William J. Reid; 1986).  Written way back in 1986, this book is based on about 200 interviews with equal sharing couples (only 37 couples have children, however).  Authors are an equal sharing couple themselves.  The book is full of practical data about the sharing of all domains in equal or semi-equal marriages, and their findings are interesting albeit now a bit dated.  Unfortunately, there is scant information here on equal parents who both work reduced hours (only 2 couples).
  • Shattered: Modern Motherhood and the Illusion of Equality (Rebecca Asher; 2011).  Compelling argument for equally shared parenting as a solution to a balanced, happy life for women, men and children, with an excellent chapter on what works and doesn't work for promoting true gender equality through governmental laws and examples from multiple countries leading the way. A "call to arms for a revolution in parenting." See our review of this book here.
  • The Daddy Shift: How Stay-at-Home Dads, Breadwinning Moms, and Shared Parenting Are Transforming the American Family (Jeremy Adam Smith; 2009).  Highly researched and tender analysis of how caregiving is becoming a much bigger part of fatherhood.  While focusing on stay-at-home fathers, this book is unmistakably pro egalitarian parenting.  See our review of this book here.
  • The Feminine Mistake (Leslie Bennetts; 2007).  Well researched and anxiety-provoking discussion of what women stand to lose by becoming stay-at-home mothers.  Leslie believes in gender equal marriages, and tries to live this way with her husband.  The book misses the nuances of true partnership, however, and never addresses the viability of reduced hours work for both parents.  See our review of this book here.
  • The Four-Thirds Solution: Solving the Child-Care Crisis in America Today (Stanley I Greenspan and Jacqueline Salmon; 2001).  A book that touts equally shared parenting and both parents each working 2/3rds time as the solution for balanced families.  Unfortunately, only one real-life example in the book comes close to this ideal, but it is still refreshing to read of such strong support for equally shared parenting from a nationally known childcare expert (Greenspan).
  • The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How It Has Undermined All Women (Susan J. Douglas and Meredith W. Michaels; 2004).  This book covers much of the same territory as Perfect Madness, but with much more anger.  Compelling data are reviewed on the media’s role in making us all anxious and frightened parents, and the comparisons we make with ‘perfect’ celebrity parents.
  • The Pile of Stuff at the Bottom of the Stairs (Christina Hopkinton; 2011). Accessible, entertaining novel that depicts the disintegration of a relationship built on women viewing themselves as career martyrs and their men as lazy husbands who can't do their part at home, and what can change with a shift to equally shared parenting instead.
  • The Truth Behind the Mommy Wars (Miriam Peskowitz; 2005).  Impassioned and well-researched description of what is wrong with the current state of unequal parenting.  This book focuses on external changes (e.g., better part-time jobs, family leave, childcare); there is a small mention of equal breadwinning but this book does not explore equal childraising.   
  • The Unfinished Revolution: How a New Generation is Reshaping Family, Work, and Gender in America (Kathleen Gerson; 2009).  Revealing and hopeful analysis of what young adults want from their relationships - equal partnerships and balanced lives.  See our review of this book here
  • This is How We Do It: The Working Mothers’ Manifesto (Carol Evans; 2006).  Written by the CEO and President of Working Mother magazine, this book describes the successful ‘can-do’ working mother balancing it all.  There is mention of equal sharing, although it is not the main focus of the book.
  • This Is Not How I Thought It Would Be: Remodeling Motherhood to Get the Lives We Want Today (Kristin Maschka; 2009).  A beautiful story of conversion from a traditional relationship to one based on equally shared parenting, with plenty of wisdom and cultural analysis.  See our interview with the author of this book here.
  • Working Fathers: New Strategies for Balancing Work and Family (James A. Levine and Todd L. Pittinsky; 1997).  Well researched description of the problems fathers face in balancing their lives and being involved with their children.  Includes tips for breaking cultural barriers at work, taking meaningful paternity leave, and reconnecting with your spouse.

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